I Feel A Burnout Coming And I Need A Break
Lately, I've been getting tired of all the activity I've been doing online. I've been writing posts for this journal, writing posts on my micro journal, curating bookmarks, posting game screenshots, posting sky photos, posting about music I'm listening to, etc...
Meanwhile, my email inboxes have been getting unwieldy. The number of unread posts on my Feedly account keeps on growing. I have not been reading books as much as I used to. I have not been learning new skills. I'm starting to get exhausted because I feel like I'm in a race to do lots of stuff, even if nobody is asking me to do them.
Recent posts I've read have made me question whether this is the best use of my time and my reader's time. I've started to wonder whether I've been producing something of value for myself and my readers. I wonder if maybe I'm just going through the motions. Like trying to look productive, even though I'm not. If that's the case, then I'm just wasting everyone's time, mine included.
There are also days when I wish for less eyeballs on my posts. I know, it is a weird thing to long for, given that I maintain a public facing blog/journal. But yeah, sometimes I just want to try things out or do my own thing and not affect other people with my posts. But since I publish to a feed, that's kind of hard to avoid.
Have you ever felt like other people use your posts as writing cues? But since they don't link to your post in their post, you can't really tell if they are doing so. At least when Inquiry does his inline quotes, I know he is talking directly to the author. Other posts though seem to touch upon something that somebody else wrote or did, but never quotes them on that. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being self-centered. And if so, I apologize.
I'm also developing an unhealthy addiction to the read.write.as feed once again. I'm constantly checking it multiple times a day. Part of it is wanting to see what other write.as bloggers have written. The other part is checking to see if other people responded or reacted to my posts. Trying to filter through what to read and what to skip also takes a toll on me. And yet, I can't stop checking it.
Sometimes I also feel bad for spamming the read.write.as feed with my “Now Listening to...” posts. You could say that I can simply stop publishing to the read.write.as feed. I know and it's one thing I've been considering lately. I just feel like it defeats the purpose of sharing music in the first place. I wouldn't feel so bad if there was a way for users to mute me on their end. But there is not and so I feel bad.
I feel like I jumped headfirst into blogging and personal websites and stretched myself too thin. I'm doing too much and using too much of my free time. All that time that I freed up by going through a digital declutter, are now gobbled up by all the online activities I'm engaged in.
So, obviously something has to change. I need a break. I'm not exactly sure what kind of break I need. But right now, I'm leaning towards going through another digital declutter phase. I corresponded with a reader through email a few weeks ago. He said that he was doing another digital declutter. I was honestly jealous. So, I might give it another try.
I'll also stop publishing to the read.write.as feed to stop myself from wanting to check it every so often. If my post doesn't show up in the feed, then there's no expectation of other write.as bloggers reacting to it. And there's less reason for me to want to check it.
As always, if you need to contact me, you will find lots of ways to reach me on this page. But honestly, I would prefer receiving emails. So, send me an email if you have any comments.
I'll catch y'all later.
This post is Day 59 of my #100DaysToOffload challenge. Visit https://100daystooffload.com to get more info, or to get involved.