Link: 5 Ways to Build Resilience and Conquer Adversity

Our aversion to pain and struggle in any capacity has become so ingrained in everything we do that it’s compromising our ability to learn, grow, and function as healthy and stable adults. It shocks and appalls me that companies and products that are supposed to help this issue are only making it worse.

You don’t build psychological resilience by feeling good all the time. You build psychological resilience by getting better at feeling bad.

There he goes again with his counter-intuitive logic. Except, it does make sense to me.

If I made a mental health app, the notifications you would wake up to would say things like:

• “Congratulations, you now have one less day to live. How are you going to make it count?”
• “Think of the person you love most in this world. Now imagine them being attacked by a swarm of killer hornets. Okay, now go tell them you love them.”
• “Andy Dufresne literally swam through three hundred yards of piss and shit for the opportunity to have freedom. Are you sure you’re not wasting yours?”

I wonder if anyone would download it.

I would.

The easiest way to overcome that anxiety is not to get rid of risk, it’s simply to make the risks worth something. Find some cause, some mission, some deeper purpose to your actions.

As Friedrich Nietzsche put it, “He who has a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.’”

Great advice!

On that smoldering day in Austin, Texas, John Fox didn’t get rid of the risk of being shot. Rather, he merely found something worth getting shot for. And that’s what gave him the courage to move.

He even weaves in an active shooter story from 1966 to demonstrate his point. It seems to be a common theme in his writing by the way; using real stories to demonstrate a point. He did the same in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, where I learned about the story of a lone Japanese soldier who kept on fighting, not knowing that the war was over.

Okay at this point, I'm close to quoting every other paragraph in his post. So, I'll stop here. Go and read his article.

Tags: #Bookmarks #MarkManson #SelfImprovement

Well, that’s easy. The goal of the news is to motivate you to keep consuming news.

This is something that I only realized the past few months when I tried decreasing my consumption of news. Now I can't stop noticing it. If you look at how they structure the presentation of news in like the morning news shows, they do it in a way to keep you hooked on news.

Same thing on news websites. They want you on their website as long as possible, nudging you to click links left and right so that you stay even longer on their site. If their job was to inform, they've done it, but do they have to try and hold my attention all day? That's the part that gets to me.

I haven't been actively consuming news the past few months. The more important news I've discovered through word of mouth, either from my wife, or my family and friends. They also eventually pop-up on my feed reader from the blogs/websites I follow. So it wasn't like I didn't know what was going on in the world.

One thing I noticed after decreasing my consumption of news is the decreased negativity in my day to day life. I used to always rant to my wife, about the crazy things I hear in the news. Sometimes that is all we would talk about over dinner. That has decreased significantly the past few months. We actually now get to talk about other things that are more positive, which is great.

Link: Why You Should Quit the News

Tags: #Bookmarks #MarkManson #News

Why did I pick up this book? I was browsing for books at Target and saw this one with a big 30% off sticker on it. I was mainly looking for books about contentment. A book that can teach me how to be content and appreciate what I already have. When I saw this one I thought it might be an interesting read. I honestly did not think much of the book, but was pleasantly surprised once I started reading.

What did I like about this book? The lessons and principles that the author shares in this book are awesome. They all sound like common sense advice once you read it, however if it was that easy, everyone would be living their best life. It is not that easy and this book reminds you why and what you can do about it.

His approach of giving counter-intuitive advice to life's problems seem backward. But, the more you read the more it actually makes sense.

The chapters on toxic relationships, on entitlement, on taking responsibility for your actions, they are all really good reads.

The last chapter on death, is eye opening. You can never really appreciate the beauty of life unless you come to terms with death. I've never even heard of the concept of “immortality projects” until I read this chapter. One question I had for myself was, why am I so intent on having a website and sharing journal entries online? I believe this chapter answers that question for everyone.

For a book written by a blogger, as far as I know the author is not a medically trained psychiatrist or a university professor, it seems very well researched. The author draws lessons from Buddhism, Psychology, Philosophy and his own life experiences. This is a guy who spent a good number of years living the good life, traveling from one city to another, only to come to the conclusion that, committing to one city, one career, one person is what true freedom is all about.

What I didn't like about this book? The occasional use of curse words can sometimes distract from the reading experience. However it also gives this book a more personal touch.

The early chapters were hard to grasp. But if you can push through then the rest of the book has some really good things to teach you.

Not exactly a problem with the book, but I feel like there's no way to internalize everything you read about this book in one read. I feel like this is a book that you have to read over and over again to reap the benefits.

Rating I give this book a 4.5/5 rating. I thought it was a really good read. One that I plan on reading again next year just so I don't forget the lessons from this book.

Tags: #MarkManson #BookReview

There are a few fronts on which our attention is being assaulted. First off, there’s just a massive surplus of stuff to pay attention to. And the more crap there is to pay attention to, the more difficult it is to choose what to focus on—not to mention stay focused on it!

So, the first and most important goal of an attention diet should be to consciously limit the number of distractions we’re exposed to. Just as the first step of a nutritional diet is to consume less food, the first step of an attention diet is to consume less information. – Mark Manson

Digital Minimalism is making it's way around the web and I like Mark Manson's take on it. I think calling it The Attention Diet is also a clever idea. If you have not read Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism book, this post can serve as some kind of head start to cutting out digital distractions and taking back your attention.

Link: The Attention Diet

Most of the stuff that Mark covers in his post are mentioned in the Digital Minimalism book, but one thing new I learned is the use of Wikipedia's “In the news” section, as a quick source of world headline news. I like it. It seems unbiased, minimal, straight to the point. For someone who is trying to consume less news, this seems like a good way to get a quick status check on what's going around the world.

One thing he doesn't address, is what to do with all the free time you will have once you follow the steps to reduce distractions and take back your attention. This is where Cal Newport will say, you have to cultivate a life of high quality leisure activities, preferably analog activities. For instance, learning a new skill (like learning how to cook), learning or mastering musical instruments, getting better at a specific sport, reading more books, etc...

The whole post is a lengthy read, however it is good exercise for your brain. So set aside some time to read it and try to do it in one go.

Tags: #Bookmarks #DigitalMinimalism #SelfImprovement #MarkManson