How to raise a resilient child | Judith Locke

I have been slacking off on sharing bookmark posts lately. It's not that I haven't been reading new articles or posts. I'm still reading, almost everyday. I've just been so busy at work and at home that I run out of time to write bookmark posts. After reading a lengthy article for instance, it's usually time for me to get back to work or help with the kids. I've no time left to write down my reflections on the articles or posts I've read. So, going forward I might eschew that practice in favor of getting more bookmark posts out faster. The goal of my bookmark posts was always to bookmark and share what I think are good reads anyway. Writing down my thoughts on it are just a bonus.

This is a great read on the topic of parenting. Specifically, how to avoid over-parenting your child. I myself think that I could be considered a “helicopter dad,” so this read was a very good wake-up call for me.

Link: How to raise a resilient child

Since then, scholars have coined terms such as ‘helicopter parenting’ and ‘overparenting’ to describe a type of parenting that involves an excess of care, including being overly protective, not letting the child make their own decisions, over-the-top affection, and holding overly high academic and social expectations for the child. This parenting approach has been associated with harmful consequences for children at the time and later in their lives, including increased anxiety, poorer leadership skills and creativity, increased narcissism, reduced self-regulation skills, increased alcohol use, poorer life satisfaction and reduced distress tolerance.

Yikes! Must avoid “helicopter parenting” then.

... I asked the parents to come back, and provided a session where I told them to aim for different goals in their parenting. I encouraged them not to focus purely on ensuring their child was always happy and successful in the here and now, but rather to develop in her the five skills that will be helpful in the long term: resilience, self-regulation, resourcefulness, respect and responsibility...

If you are a parent, or soon to be parent, this is the main reason you'll want to read this article. The author covers how to help a child develop resilience, self-regulation, resourcefulness, respect and responsibility.

If you use your own resourcefulness to solve your children’s problems, they won’t get the chance to learn how to adapt. You risk setting yourself as the solver and your children might continue to look to you for resolutions, even at an age when they should be solving situations themselves

That actually explains a lot...

When you prioritise your children’s rights over their responsibilities, you prevent them from learning the skill of accountability and from experiencing the wellbeing benefits of contributing to society. Remind your children that there is equal, if not more, happiness in what they do for others than in what others do for them.

That's great advice!

Smoothing the way through ‘lawnmower parenting’ serves to make your children ready for smooth roads only. Constant hovering around your children only makes them even more reliant on your presence. As the person who loves them most, don’t ask yourself what you can do to help your children every day, but what you can do to help them help themselves. That’s a parenting action that will truly prepare them for the bumps, twists and turns of the life journeys stretching ahead of them.

Another good one.

This post is Day 38 of my #100DaysToOffload challenge. Visit to get more info, or to get involved.

Tags: #Bookmarks #Parenting #100DaysToOffload

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